|
Dear Mr Brewery,
I have just returned home, after spending a delightful eveningsh
in one of the fine eshtablishments owned by your company.
Whilst there, I consumed several pints of your excellent
beverages, but after a while the floor moved from under my feet. This was preceeded by the walls buckling, the ceiling
moving, and the lights getting brighter. I would therefore suggest, you employ the services of a qualified electrical
engineer, and a safety inspector, as I believe your building is begining to subshide.... I will continue this lettersh in
the morningsh.............................
............. I have recently awoken with a severe
headache, which I have been informed is commonly known as a hangover... apparantly it was caused by an ingredient in
your beverages known as alcohol. Therefore, I would like to enquire, why there was no warning notices on my glass, stating
that alcohol can cause severe side effects ??
If I get a bottle of pills from the Doctor, it clearly warns of
side effects.... If I decide to ride a roller coaster, the signs warn me, I may have a heart attack..... If I walk through
a low doorway, a sign clearly states, "Mind Your Head" ...... If I walk into a courtroom, and tell the Judge he's an
asshole.. he warns me I'm in contempt of court, and may be jailed...... If I decide to go out and fuck a prostitue,
she warns me I may catch VD, or get pregnant.
Yet, I come to your establishment for a quiet drink, and there
is Not a single sign anywhere, to warn me, I may fall on the floor... have halucinations... piss myself... throw
my guts up over the guy sitting next to me... pick a fight with the biggest guy there... dance like John Travolta... or get
arrested for disturbing the peace, and thrown in Jail... Neither is there a sign stating.... "The next morning,
you will wake up at an unknown location, with a severe headache, and generally feel like shit !!! .......... What sort
of a cowboy outfit are you running here ??
I was intending to take this matter further... but I'm a reasonable
man... so after careful masturbation... errr, consideration.... I
am willing to let matters drop... in return for a 50
crates of beer
per annum.
I look forward to hearing from you, regarding this matter !!
Yours
Faithfully,
Mr. .... errrrr......
You see..... I can't even remember my own name, due to your
fuckin' beer !!!!
|
